it’s amazing how, when one set of friends seems to pull away and, in that sense, let you down, another group will step up and let you know they still care.

it’s been a rough couple of weeks. that’s why I wasn’t posting… I couldn’t really think of many things to say that weren’t me blabbing about how I was wallowing in self-pity. =) how sad was I?!

the turnaround: a call from my mother. =) I love how she can always make the world look brighter.

and, straight out of the blue, I got *five* emails, one today and four yesterday, from old friends (Sandy, who was like a second mother to me, her daughter Becky who was a one-time best-ever friend of mine, and three close girlfriends – Kristen, Sarah and Angela). each email was just sent a little note telling me that they loved me and chatting about life a little, but that was exactly what I needed. it makes things seem less like an end and more like a move. does that make sense?

getting married is going to be tough. not the wedding, or being with David – those things are going to be amazing. the hard part is going to be adjusting my relationships… because I’m engaged to David, there’s a little bit of pulling away that *has* to happen – our lives are merging, which means that mine necessarily has to be more about him than it ever has been. I’m okay with that change, ready to make it and probably am starting to. what I’m not okay with is other people adjusting like that, pulling away from *me*. that hurts, and leaves me hurting and raw…

so when my mother and these old friends, from whom I’ve felt disconnected for a good while now, all just took the time to say hello, I realized that things don’t have to end. they haven’t with these five old friends, even after all these years of being apart. they don’t have to with my close friends now, either. yes, things have to change, but things don’t have to end.

and re-realizing that has made all the difference between today and these past few weeks. I feel free. =)

I remembered, appropriately enough, that when I was in Girl Scouts as a kid, we sang a cheesy song that went like this:

make new friends but keep the old
one is silver and the other’s gold
a circle’s round and has no end
that’s how long I want to be your friend