tAukerman

here I am

flailing

November9

A conversation my coworker and I had today:

DD: in the 40s today
DD: kinda nice actually
DD: ahhhhhh
me: uggghhh
me: I’d much rather it be warmer.
DD: most folks would
DD: JR and i will have to run away together to an ice floe somewhere
DD: hang out with the polar bears…
me: I’ll send you postcards from hawaii
DD: we’ll send you photos of the snow angels we make.
me: I never understood what would possess grown people to lay down in the snow and wiggle.
me: first of all, the angels look like they’re wearing culottes.  those went out of style AGES ago.
me: secondly, it’s wet.
me: thirdly, it’s cold.
me: fourthly, the person on the ground is lying in a prone position – just ripe for assault or theft.
DD: mugged by a gang of penguins…
DD: really, i don’t think that there are many assaults and thefts on ice floes.
me: well, I suppose we could leave out point #4 in that case.
DD: and coulottes come and go
DD: i’m all about wearing what i like
DD: my snow angels have similar feelings about fashion
me: culottes should stay gone.
me: seriously – when I was a kid and did the snow angel thing (like, once), I actually scooped out the leg line.
DD: how funny!
me: had to fix it.
DD: and they didn’t medicate you then?
DD: ;-)
me: anyway, because you’re squirming so much, the head always ends up shaped funny.
DD: i tend not to do a whole lot of flailing
me: isn’t that the point?
DD: it’s not really a whole-body experience
me: yes, it is a whole-body experience – your whole body gets wet and numb from the snow!
DD: i mean, you only have to move your arms and legs
me: yeah, but try moving your ring finger without moving the others – things are connected!
DD: my head’s not connected to my legs
DD: or my arms
me: but it’s connected to your neckbone, which is connected to your…
me: didn’t you go to preschool?
me: didn’t you TEACH preschool?
DD: yes, but the fine points of flailing were never covered in my curriculum

posted under humor, work

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