Yesterday, instead of our mail, we received a suspicious, possibly sinister item.  Did someone steal our mail in order to leave this item?  We don’t know. 

I got home from work, turned off the alarm, and let the dog out.  As is my custom, after I let the dog out (and before he comes back in), I check the mail.  I was surprised to find no actual mail in the box – we are quite popular with the folks who offer credit cards, and there’s always an ad or two in our box.  Even on holidays, sometimes.

No mail.  Just a small plastic bottle containing an unknown viscous fluid.  Behold:

Could it be a bomb?  Could it, when opened, release gases intended to kill us?  Could it be some kind of marker (a tag placed in our mailbox by a would-be thief, saying our house is ripe for the pickin’)?  Could it be some bum’s shampoo (it was raining out)?  Could it be a message of some kind?  Could it be a gift?  What does it mean?

We gingerly carried it out to our dumpster, without shaking, bumping, or opening the bottle.  The city picked up our trash today.  We figured “better safe than sorry” – but now we’ll never know what it is.

To the person who placed this item in our mailbox: 

• If this was an attempt to kill or maim us, you failed.  Please don’t try again. 
• If this was a marker for theives, HAH!  We thwarted you!  And anyway, we have a big dog and a very loud alarm system that’s connected to the police.  You don’t wanna mess with our house.
• If you’re a bum and you’re missing your shampoo, come talk to me.  I’ll replace it.
• If this was a gift or a secret message, I’m sorry we threw it away.  Next time, leave a note. 
• Also, if you stole our mail, please return the bills, letters, and cards – you can keep the rest.